Nobody is perfect and the sooner you will accept this fact, the better your life will get for you. Initially, you have to let go of some little things and accept that you are enough!Today we have come to last chapter of AtoZ parenting tips and techniques. We have learned many tips to raise our kids. But in this whole process I’ve realized it is not good or healthy to feel mom guilt. And with so many experiences in the past, I have accepted the fact that I am doing all the best I can do for everyone. And that’s how I have zero mom guilt for few things, which is pretty darn and empowering too!
What is mom guilt?
Mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not doing enough for your child as a parent. Normally it triggers when we start judging our self for decisions like going back to work after maternity leave, juggling household tasks and dealing with unsolicited advice about your parenting choices.
Moms feel guilty for prioritizing self-care or spending time away from their children. While it is normal to have some guilt, it becomes a problem when you spend too much time sweating the small stuff and lose the big-picture perspective. unchecked guilt can lead to unhealthy behaviors and depression.
Why should Feel Zero Mom Guilt About these 7 things
1)Not breastfeeding or not breastfeeding long enough
As a first-time mom you will be loaded with so many advice about how your child should be fed. Your mother-in-law says you should breastfeed until 24 months and your friend says breastfeeding is torture. I fed my little one for a year and half, many of my friends asked me to do it till 2 years, but it didn’t happen from my end. And I realized the fact that I only did the best I could. You need to make best choice for your little one and you shouldn’t feel any guilt about it.
2)Your reason for heading to the work is valid ― whatever it is.
My next worry was that I re-joined my work as soon as my daughter turned 1 and kept a Nanny instead. I cried a lot many times before leaving for work and used to worry incessantly that being away from my baby hurts her development. Trust that most children thrive and flourish even when both parents work full-time. Now the current pandemic situation of having to work from home can even add to guilt for Maintaining a balance between personal and professional life. Set your expectations based on your circumstances and your family set-up, career goals, etc. The key to staying sane is to acknowledge the fact that most of your plans might not work out properly. Now I am over with this guilt and I have moved on!
3)Making time for yourself is a win for your family, too.
It is important that you take care of yourself then only you can focus on your baby. I tried to please everyone around me, and not all of them were so happy with my actions which in fact affected my mental health. Later I realised that only I am responsible for my own happiness. If you feel guilty that going to the spa or sneaking time for gym will take away your time with your baby. Think again. You should have some “me time”.
4)Letting kids have extra screen time
Lately, I even had a guilty feeling about why I allowed my little one to watch a lot of television (gasp!). My main aim was to put away the load of laundry, and get a little bit of work done! Yes, limiting screen time is ideal. But also, some days, we need to be flexible has to be thrown out the window.
5)Reaching out for help
There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help a little whether that’s from your mother, partner, a babysitter, a day-care or any combination of the above. I learnt this thought out my journey that I deserve some help. As stretching yourself can have repercussions for your physical and mental health. So, tell guilt to take in the backseat.
6)Nothing wrong in having a bad day.
Sometimes, you just wake up in bad mood. Other days, you have hard time at office and you bring that home too and feels heavy. Then the guilt sets in and you start blaming yourself for not having a better day. Just try to be gentle with yourself because yes, even moms have bad days.
7)Every Minute of My Baby’s Life Cant be Quality Time
Previously, I used to worry a lot about the relationships I’m forming with my children. When you check social media and it seems like all moms are engaging kids in crafts and activities. So obviously you start feeling guilty. Somehow the idea of quality time parents has gotten out of control that every moment should be stimulating or educational. Every child can learn from having time to himself. I have acknowledged this and don’t feel guilty anymore.
And let’s face it, as moms, we are entirely too busy to stay in a mommy guilt. We have to become confident enough in the decisions that we make for our family. Lastly, you have to be rest assured that YOU are the best mother for YOUR children, even on your worst day!
This year, I’m participating in #BlogchatterA2Z powered by theblogchatter.com
I am writing 26 post in this series .Do check my earlier post
X:Exhausted as parent? Tips to Prevent i
I agree..moms do need some me time and you young moms do get it 🙂 We had to struggle with no help and 24/7 handling the baby. No career too so full-time mommy. It’s good u have listed out mom guilt. Most moms go through this.
Agreed not only these 7 points mom should not have guilt for anything at all. They are doing great. Loved your series. Informative and engaging. Best wishes
Deepika Sharma
Mom guilt! Can’t escape from it. But as you said, our happiness lies in our own hands, so I make sure to have that me-time for relaxation and waking up refreshed the next day.
Yes, most of the moms are ridden with guilt syndrome. Even I am no exception. Thanks for such a lovely reminder as to how to convert ourselves into Zero Guilt moms.
I can understand that women tend to feel guilty about everything they do because people judge them. Closing eyes to unnecessary criticism can change a lot.
There are so many guilts which pop up so many times, but we as moms need to understand that it’s ok to do mistakes!!
Oh yes I have gone through this but learnt that if mom is not happy she can’t keep anyone else happy at home. So do what you like without feeling guilty about anything
Every woman is unique and so is every motherhood journey, never should one feel guilty about anything. We do feel bad sometimes, it’s a phase we should let go and there should be zero regrets or guilt left. A good reminder in all the pointers you had written. Enjoyed all your posts this April 2021 AtoZ.
Mom guilt is often fed into us even if we don’t feel it. In any case, it is important to have an individual identity and not try to be perfect all the time.
Brilliant post! Everyone has a different journey, so does mom. Why feel guilt for anything? How long you let your child breastfeed? or the way you keep your children? No one can think the best of kids except their moms. I hope, if not anyone else, one mom should keep supporting other moms on such issues—a very apt post on mom’s guilt. Every mom must read it.
yes mom guilt is real and we all suffer from this time to time. I agree your thoughts that it is ok to not be perfect all the time. many congratulations dear for completing A2Z challenge. wishing you all the best for e book. I am sure you will rock it that too.
Mom guilt should not be there for anything at all. We know we’re doing our best for.the kid and it is understandable
The last one…is such a crazy expectation that we moms put on our self….had been feeling really guilty of lately. Needed some positive reinforcement and your post provided just that