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Being a “Yes parent” doesn’t mean giving your kids freedom to do whatever they want. But rather to say “Yes” to harmless, fun activities to which your first response can be “NO”.Most of us try to be as much as a ‘Yes’ as we can, but for many reasons, we often end up saying a lot of “NO” every time.
Sometimes we say no to our children just because of our own conveniences. There have been so many times my kids have asked me to help in dinner or do a puzzle with them, and I’ve denied .
And as a result, kids stop bothering to ask even a single question. In the worst condition, kids don’t even take “No’s seriously. This can be really harmful for both adults and children.
Let me dive deep into this. As mentioned previously, I used to say no a lot of time, but surprisingly this “yes” factor really helped me a lot. I did not become a “yes” mummy overnight, it’s a lifestyle, and it does take a lot of time. For me, the definition of yes mom is all about abundance, creativity, and freedom.
The Benefits Of Becoming A YES Parent
Helps kids Understand consequences.
When a parent says “no” to a child’s request initially, it ends the learning process immediately. You leave no scope for discussion .but on the other hand you can encourage them using positive phrasing. It helps them understand why they can’t do something, and what the consequences of it are. It encourages them to make decisions and also to understand the consequences of their decisions. They gain a sense of confidence that will stay with them all their lives.
Improvement of parent/child relationship.
It improves the parent child relationship and also lays a lifelong foundation of trust with your child. When you say “Yes”, you give kids a sense of autonomy. Any consequences that they have to deal with becomes a result of a choice they made – that’s a learning moment and it takes away the anger that’s often directed at parents for enforcing discipline.
Encourage creative thinking
Children of “yes parents” are never bored. There is always something they can do because they are not put in a box or forced to follow a long list of rules. So, their natural-born curiosity and creativity flourishes.
Ways To Become A Yes Parent
But it is not easy either! Here are a few practical ways that really helped me a lot to become a yes parent –
Be flexible and spontaneous–
We all love to make our home as organized as we can, because when home is in the order, it gets easier to command kids about their activities. But choose to be flexible sometimes . Like a day in a week where kids can be allowed to do certain things without restrictions.
It’s okay to say yes – but later.
I don’t instantly say yes to my kids a lot of the time. For example, if my little one asks for a bowl of noodles, I ask her to finish her lunch first, and then I offer her the same.Like she can pack her chocolate in lunch box herself, provided there is a vegetable of my choice. She can wash the car with her dad, but she should wear the raincoat and so on.
- Instead of Don’t jump. Say You can walk.
- Instead of No, it’s too late for you to eat chocolate juice. Say Sure, you can have it tomorrow.
- Instead of No kicking. Say, kicking hurts me!
I don’t prefer allowing my kids to eat fast food all the time, hence I prepare a lot when to say yes. Whenever we go out to roam anywhere, I make sure that my kids are full, so as they don’t end up asking for a lot of fast food outside.
Saying Nothing When You Would Usually Say Something:
Sometimes our kids don’t ask our permission. They just do it! Instead of stopping their fun in its tracks, breathe through it.Let your child take risks , get rowdy or wrestle,let them make racket and be noisy.They’re going to outgrow them in 3 seconds anyway.
Let Kids Be Kids
Kids loves getting dirty and messy and to spend most of their day playing. Sometimes it get INCONVENIENT for parents. It’s not how kids were created. Research says that the more you give your child uninterrupted KID TIME, the more physically, mentally and socially healthy your child will become
Does that mean we never say no?
Of course that doesn’t mean that we never say no. If kids will be allowed to everything their heart desired they will become spoiled .So we need to say no when they breaks family rules, family values, or appropriate boundaries.While I say yes to a certain amount of tv, I say no once it exceeds a set limit because I believe it’s not in their best interest to be a couch potato all day.Ice cream for dinner is not allowed every day because that would not maintain a healthy and balanced diet.
Saying yes doesn’t mean that you are spoiling your little one, instead you will be giving your child a glorious and unfettered childhood which they truly deserve. And my guess is, to make the most out of the childhood times, you have to learn acceptance, and learn how to say this little word “yes” comfortably!
I am writing 26 post in this series .Do check my earlier post