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Nobody is perfect and the sooner you will accept this fact, the better your life will get for you. Initially, you have to let go of some little things and accept that you are enough!Today we have come to last chapter of AtoZ parenting tips and techniques. We have learned many tips to raise our kids. But in this whole process I’ve realized it is not good or healthy to feel mom guilt. And with so many experiences in the past, I have accepted the fact that I am doing all the best I can do for everyone. And that’s how I have zero mom guilt for few things, which is pretty darn and empowering too!
What is mom guilt?
Mom guilt is the feeling that you’re not doing enough for your child as a parent. Normally it triggers when we start judging our self for decisions like going back to work after maternity leave, juggling household tasks and dealing with unsolicited advice about your parenting choices.
Moms feel guilty for prioritizing self-care or spending time away from their children. While it is normal to have some guilt, it becomes a problem when you spend too much time sweating the small stuff and lose the big-picture perspective. unchecked guilt can lead to unhealthy behaviors and depression.
Why should Feel Zero Mom Guilt About these 7 things
1)Not breastfeeding or not breastfeeding long enough
As a first-time mom you will be loaded with so many advice about how your child should be fed. Your mother-in-law says you should breastfeed until 24 months and your friend says breastfeeding is torture. I fed my little one for a year and half, many of my friends asked me to do it till 2 years, but it didn’t happen from my end. And I realized the fact that I only did the best I could. You need to make best choice for your little one and you shouldn’t feel any guilt about it.
2)Your reason for heading to the work is valid ― whatever it is.
My next worry was that I re-joined my work as soon as my daughter turned 1 and kept a Nanny instead. I cried a lot many times before leaving for work and used to worry incessantly that being away from my baby hurts her development. Trust that most children thrive and flourish even when both parents work full-time. Now the current pandemic situation of having to work from home can even add to guilt for Maintaining a balance between personal and professional life. Set your expectations based on your circumstances and your family set-up, career goals, etc. The key to staying sane is to acknowledge the fact that most of your plans might not work out properly. Now I am over with this guilt and I have moved on!
3)Making time for yourself is a win for your family, too.
It is important that you take care of yourself then only you can focus on your baby. I tried to please everyone around me, and not all of them were so happy with my actions which in fact affected my mental health. Later I realised that only I am responsible for my own happiness. If you feel guilty that going to the spa or sneaking time for gym will take away your time with your baby. Think again. You should have some “me time”.
4)Letting kids have extra screen time
Lately, I even had a guilty feeling about why I allowed my little one to watch a lot of television (gasp!). My main aim was to put away the load of laundry, and get a little bit of work done! Yes, limiting screen time is ideal. But also, some days, we need to be flexible has to be thrown out the window.
5)Reaching out for help
There is nothing wrong in reaching out for help a little whether that’s from your mother, partner, a babysitter, a day-care or any combination of the above. I learnt this thought out my journey that I deserve some help. As stretching yourself can have repercussions for your physical and mental health. So, tell guilt to take in the backseat.
6)Nothing wrong in having a bad day.
Sometimes, you just wake up in bad mood. Other days, you have hard time at office and you bring that home too and feels heavy. Then the guilt sets in and you start blaming yourself for not having a better day. Just try to be gentle with yourself because yes, even moms have bad days.
7)Every Minute of My Baby’s Life Cant be Quality Time
Previously, I used to worry a lot about the relationships I’m forming with my children. When you check social media and it seems like all moms are engaging kids in crafts and activities. So obviously you start feeling guilty. Somehow the idea of quality time parents has gotten out of control that every moment should be stimulating or educational. Every child can learn from having time to himself. I have acknowledged this and don’t feel guilty anymore.
And let’s face it, as moms, we are entirely too busy to stay in a mommy guilt. We have to become confident enough in the decisions that we make for our family. Lastly, you have to be rest assured that YOU are the best mother for YOUR children, even on your worst day!
I am writing 26 post in this series .Do check my earlier post