Good touch and bad touch: How to make your child understand


In today’s world , it’s essential that we empower our children with the right knowledge of good and bad touch.Since my daughter joined her preschool at an early age, I as a mother, was very conscious and concerned about her safety. The concern was not just limited to school hours but also includes family celebrations, hobby classes, and other places as well. This happened because I was quite sure that my little one will meet a lot of different people – both in my presence or otherwise . So it became imperative for me to talk to my daughter about the differences between good touch and bad touch.

And let’s face it, not everyone will have the same sense of concern for kids and they won’t protect them every time. In fact, some can even cause some kind of harm and might touch the little one inappropriately.

Tips to explain the difference between good and bad touch

One in five parents of preschool going children say they never spoke about inappropriate touching. The most common reasons include they don’t want to scare the child .Hence, here are a few tips which I took into consideration while helping my kid understand the difference between good touch and bad touch.

Build a carefree bond –

You have to build a bond of trust with your little one from an early age itself.  You should make them understand that you are always present for them, and you even believe their thoughts, and trust them enough that they can share anything with you. Your kid must trust you enough to confide in you.

Always expect questions from your child. Don’t react and embarrass kid if the questions are silly .Never feel ashamed of your child’s curiosity. You need to listen empathically and sensitively. You can answer them depending on your child’s comprehension, maturity and age.

Teach body parts

As a parent you have to help your kid feel comfortable at whatever they are wearing. You have to give them ownership, and this must start at an early age itself. Teach children proper names for all body part and use correct language for anatomy . If you’re uncomfortable and start making up names about body parts, they will have discomfort as well.

Follow the swimsuit rule –

You have to know this rule, and tell your little one the same. The swimsuit rule is that no person can touch body parts that are covered under the swimsuit. And if they ever feel that somebody has ever touched them there, teach them to report the same to elderly. To help my daughter with this I posted a few charts on the wall and explained these little things to her daily in a fun way.

Tell them that they can and they should say NO

When your kid has understood what is bad and good touch, help them understand how to refuse and speak out loud about the issues. They must learn to firmly say a ‘No’ or ‘Stop’. Also, teach your child to get away from that place as soon as they can.

Do not force affection on kids: 

Never force a lot of affection on your child, be it your own or someone else’s. If ever any relative is offering a warm hug or a kiss, your child should appreciate it on their own. If they aren’t comfortable with the same, don’t force much.

Keep the right tone

Parents may avoid the topic sometimes thinking that children are too young and they can get scared. Having said this, I have started the same with my daughter at a very early age. I started asking her questions quite often, like when and with whom they went to the bathroom in preschool. But all these questions were asked by me in the most casual tone only.I tried to keep these conversations happen naturally, like during playtime or dinner table.

Being a parent, you have to teach your kid all little precautions and keep them prepared about the incidents. Your role is monumental, and it’s your duty to keep your child emotionally, mentally, and physically secure.

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25 Replies to “Good touch and bad touch: How to make your child understand

  1. We are living in a world, where it is a must to teach the kids about all this at a tender age. And parents are the best people to teach the kids

  2. A very important post as it’s the need of the hour to help kids/ children understand the difference between good and bad touch and know-how to save themselves and stay prepared for anything. The swimsuit rule and say No is an easy and simple way to teach. They should be able to take timely action and parents are the first teachers for this.

  3. It is very important to teach your child about Good and bad touch. 30 years ago when there was no mention also about this, I did teach my kids. It makes a lot of difference. Or they will not know if they are abused. I was as a child and never wanted my kids to go through it. You have explained so beautifully.

  4. This talk is such an important one and must be done delicately without scaring the child. I’ve done it with both my kids and I hope they behave responsibly if God forbid any situation ever arises.

  5. This is so important to teach kids and it should be in the proper way !! Loved this post, very important!!

  6. A must-have conversation between every parent and their kids. Though during the last few years, there has been much awareness about it and parents have started taking this as a priority, but somehow there are still a few people who hesitate to bring it up in front of their children. Great that you have taken the initiative to spread awareness.

  7. This is a very important topic to be discussed with kids. We often think that they are too young to understand it but looking at current circumstances, we have to teach them inn their understandable language.

  8. One of the most crucial responsibilities of parenting to make our kids aware of good touch and bad touch. I like the swimsuit rule; how come I couldn’t think this way. I will keep this in mind for future reference.

  9. This is a much-needed post as kids these days develop very soon and need to understand the good touch and bad touch from an early age. I really liked these pointers and will share it with a friend who is looking to introduce this to her children.

  10. I have started taking about good touch and bad touch with my 3 year old now. I have used a doll to explain him and tell him about his private parts everyday while giving him bath and changing his clothes. These are very good pointers you mentioned.

  11. This is so well explained. I didn’t know about the swim suit rule before reading this. I’ve already spoken about this to my daughter and I think I have to rebrush it to her as she keeps growing.

  12. so very true, the currently situation and society where we live , kids safety is taken for a toss. We need to talk and teach kids about good touch from any early age. You have covered all the pointers well

  13. This is one of the important thing that kids should be taught from beginning. This post provide proper approach towards teaching good and bad touch

  14. This is such an important conversation and your article has really brought to the fore the very important aspects that must be discussed and reiterated with the kids. an open conversation and a space where they feel safe to communicate is essential.

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