How to handle Your tween first crush

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If your tween has a crush, it is a sign that nature has taken its course. The safest thing about this tween crush is it doesn’t last for a very long time. But for Parents it is natural for them to worried. As a supporting parent, they should try to reassure them that such feelings are part of growing up and it is completely to feel this way.


Below are a few tips that can help deal with tweens’ crushes.

Validate feelings

As an adult, it is very well known that crushes do not develop into actual relationships. However, it is not what the kids feel. Parents should not make jokes, tease or ignore the tweens’ feelings. This will only bring more distance between the parents and the tween.

Listen

The best way to keep the communication line open is to listen and keep the tweens talking. This is the best way of keeping the trust between the parents and the tween alive.

Healthy relationships

Talking to kids about their crush provides an opportunity to teach them about healthy relationship goals. Ask what are the things they like about their crush and advice on what they should look for in their significant other like kindness, trust, and respect.

Dealing with peer pressure

A mere misconception about school life is that cool kids should have love interests that drive the tweens to have one of their own. Parents should teach how to deal with peer pressure by being comfortable in their skin to keep things smoother.

Set limits

If relationships with the crush become serious then parents should set boundaries. Limiting the amount of time spent on phone calls, texting, and reminding them of their other responsibilities at home and school so that they do not get off track.

Do not tell

If the parents find out that their kids have a crush then they should not go around telling others about it or commenting in front of someone else. This breaks the trust the tween has in the parents.

Conclusion

The first crush will stay in their minds forever which can affect how they form future love interests in the future. Parents can be supportive and understandable and help them with the true goals of finding a love interest and moving on positively.

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Do read my previous article in these series of : “Parenting TweenS”

A: A transformative age called tweens

B: Parenting Tweens: A Balancing Act

C: Connecting with tweens :Emotionally and Physically

14 Replies to “How to handle Your tween first crush

  1. Tweenage crush is very common and natural. Attraction towards opposite sex is quite natural. But how we handle it will let our kids walk on the right path. That last point of do not tell others is very important. This is not a gossiping topic. Our kids need us with them during this phase.

  2. I had read your book and while reading that topic, I really liked the way you have included this less discussed topic and share excellent suggestion to deal with this. agree, as a parent we should validate our child’s feeling and should talk with them in a positive way.

  3. Handling tween and teens is not rocket science but needs lots of patience and trust on them can do magic in the relationship. I am so happy to read the tips you shared.

  4. Teenage crush is part of adolescent. Most of them have but not everyone share. It is important to create that environment in your house that kids do not hesitate to share, this can help in proper guidance when required. Communication is imperative.

  5. its very common for any one to like or have a crush and while kids hit their puberty and teens, its likely for them to have a crush. BE it a celeb or someone they know. Believe me, my daughter is 8.5yrs old and crushing over BTS K-pop band and we both sit and listen to their songs.

  6. I agree with your approach and points. It is a good idea to normalise crushes and create an open and safe environment for the kids to talk and share about their feelings, thoughts and ideas as they go through this phase.

  7. Understanding that it is a phase in each tween life, parents should act responsibly. The pointers in the post shall help parents to understand the matter than worrying about it.

  8. This is an eye-opener for me. I feel ancient. My daughter and son never had a crush until they were out of school. Kids are growing so fast these days. Now we have tweens! Communication between parents and children is the key. Kids will share anything if parents are open about it.

  9. Agree with all the pointers. Yes, tween crushes are bound to happen. But as parents we need to handle it with care. Having open communication with kids is the key and not breaking their trust is important too.

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