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One of the most common problems parents face is how they can get their kids to listen to them?. When your child doesn’t listen to you the first time and has to be called out to multiple times, you feel yourself trapped into cycle of “Repeat. Remind. Repeat. Remind.” And after some time, you feel powerless and you’re left screaming and discouraged. If you want to handle on this situation ,you need to do is figure out WHY your kid is NOT listening?
Why Don’t Kids Listen?
Kids have a lot on their minds, they also have different priorities, and they don’t understand at all why it’s so important to brush their teeth or bath right this minute! Children of all ages have a strong need for power. When children fail to exert their power in positive ways, they will exert their power in negative ways. So, children use their bodies and language to defy our requests.
Few Steps to Get Kids to Listen
Both kids and adults like to be seen and heard, and to help with this, here are a few tips you can follow –
Use eye contact and Get Down on Their Level
As a parent myself, both of these actions have helped me a lot to avoid and stop my little one’s misbehaviour. It truly works like magic. When both parents and kids match the level of conversation, and often use eye contact while having conversation, the speech gets more confident. Both of them can relate to each other. You can even try whispering, because the little one feels that I’m telling him a secret, and he listens to everything intently. Shouting from across the rooms is unlikely to get them to listen. It is important that you call out their name, walk in front of them, and look them in the eye before you ask them to do something
Try to Be Precise
Children like short, simple sentences and avoid overcomplicate instructions. Don’t say too much and try not to repeat instructions as it could make your child confused. They get the impression that it is okay to ignore the instructions as they will be mentioned again. Just be precise about your instructions.
Avoid speaking negative words
As mentioned previously, negative words can affect the little one’s self-esteem a lot. Kids often try to see good things in all the activity they are doing. Hence as a parent, you have to tell them they are good and other positive things about them, to help them stay positive mentally. You can also refrain speaking negative words like, good boy or bad girl.
Studies say that kids don’t want to listen “no” every time, as they start feeling low. Whenever parents constantly shout their little one like, don’t say this, or do this, they tend to do the same activity a lot. Hence you can try saying positive things like, “Talk softly please,” or “Make sure we walk to the sidewalk, instead of running, and then go to the playground.”
You should know how and when to set expectations from your little one. Hence, only expect things that can be possibly done at best from their end. Let your kid know what you are expecting, and they will surely act likewise.
Give Some Time to Process Information
Children may need some time may be three to seven seconds to process what you have said. So, you need to wait a few seconds for them to respond back. Ask them to repeat back what you said that will ensure your child has heard you. If your child isn’t able to repeat his instructions, the chances are that they find it complicated and it is best if you break them down into simpler words.
Give your child some control of what they do or how they behave. Instead of saying “Finish your food” you can say “Do you want to finish your roti first or your milk?” This process will help them to exert their control and choices.
Listen to your child too
If you stare at your phone while your child tells you something, you are showing this is how communication is handled in your family. If you really want your child to listen to you, you need to pay full attention and stop what you’re doing. It only takes a few minutes. Start this when he’s toddler and he’ll still be willing to talk to you when he’s will come back from school. You’ll be so glad you did
It is common for parents to lose their patience and cool if their children don’t listen to them. You need to understand that sometimes it is difficult to get your child to do everything that you want. But not getting frustrated when things are a little chaotic can set a great example for your kid. Your child will begin to understand that things can be done even without shouting or loosing calm.
As a parent, it’s completely our responsibility to shape and mould the children’s behaviour. You can make your kid happier, and positive, by trying the above-given tactics. Do understand that your little one is understanding this new whole world with you, and they won’t be able to express themselves completely at first, hence you have to thrive a lot!
I am writing 26 post in this series .Do check my earlier post